As we think about this subject, what comes to mind about your own life? For myself, as I look back to my teenage years, and even my twenties, I see the lack of this principle – the principle of being “swift to hear and slow to speak.” Now, nearly two decades later, I can see many times when my parents told me something, that I usually had something to say back. I was not purposely trying to be rebellious, yet many times I thought I had a better idea and needed to have the final word.
As time went on, God started working in my life, and I became convicted of my need to have more of a readiness to hear than to speak, according to the passage of scripture in James 1. Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. -James 1:19,20 What God worked in my heart was that of needing to prefer others above myself in the area of speaking. I don’t always need to have the last word, present a better idea, or explain why someone else’s way won’t work out.
Another way God worked in my life was through my parents. Years ago, when I would ask Papa what he thought about something, or what he thought I should do, I would listen; but then I would proceed to say why I thought what he had just said wasn’t the best idea or why it wouldn’t work. I remember several times him looking at me with a fatherly look and saying, “Why do you even ask?” It seems that it took many years for this to soak in and to make a difference.
There is an old saying that goes something like this: “There was an owl who lived in an oak, the more he saw, the less he spoke, the less he spoke, the more he heard, why can’t we be like that wise old bird?” Also, in Proverbs 21:23 it says, Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Yes, how many times do we as youth say things, perhaps without thinking, then afterward regret the things we said?
As we continue to think about being quick to listen and slow to speak, let’s consider those times when we are scheduling or planning something. Do we just make promises or commitments to others without first stopping to think whether we will be able to follow through with them?
The reason I am making this point to youth is because it is needful to learn good habits in your youth that will continue to bless you all through life. A good habit to develop and exercise is that of being careful what we say, when we say it, how we say it, and to whom we say it.
Many times, we can easily find ourselves on the verge of lying by saying things like, “The first thing tomorrow morning I’ll call you,” but then you forget about it until evening. Or “The first of next week I’ll get that to you,” then it ends up being the end of the week until you get it done. Or “I’ll be there at six o’clock,” then the time slips away so we rush and scurry to get to our meeting, but still end up being late. We either need to plan extra time so we can be sure to keep our word or else we should reword what we say. Something like, “I’ll plan to be there at 6 o’clock Lord willing,” or “If everything goes all right,” or “I’ll do my best to be there,” or “Next week sometime, I’ll get it to you.” To some of us this may seem uncomfortable to be more “vague” in what we say, and less confident in what we commit. It’s better to be indefinite with what we say and to what we commit than make or tell a lie. Of course, if you are just simply not able to be somewhere on time, or having trouble with a deadline, just a quick call to tell someone that you are running late, does a lot of good.
The reputation you have is what you’ve made for yourself. Some people are always late. Usually they are late because they didn’t plan ahead and leave enough time to get where they need to be. Some don’t even let anyone know why they are late and for what reason. Sometimes people are late because they find it challenging to match up two different schedules. (Someone told me once that when you’re on a soccer team, “on time” is considered being late and 10 minutes early is considered “on time.”)
It is very important in your youth to make your word as good as gold. When you say something, you should always stand behind your word. Be dependable, be punctual, be prompt, and be responsible. Do whatever it takes to meet your obligations and to make satisfaction with the ones to whom you have committed. This might mean denying yourself something you’d rather be doing, or it might mean losing sleep, while working extra hard and extra hours.
In the past, I have faced a great struggle in this area of overcommitting. By nature, I’m not a very practical person. I can easily “shoot from the hip” and assume we can get everything done in record time, and still have time left over! My desire is to be dependable, to keep my word, to do my best to serve others, to please our customers, actually to please everybody. Too many times in the past I was unreasonable in the commitments I made, especially in the area of work. For example, one time in my youth I committed to getting some orders done and ended up working 80 hours with only about 8 hrs. of sleep, throughout that time. That was a very exhausting situation and it took about a week to recover from that experience. When I would plan a shipping date for furniture we were manufacturing, I didn’t want to back down on the schedule. So I would work late hours and even quite a few all-nighters.
Much of this was before marriage, with no wife and children to care for. Now I have a wife and four children, but with this being part of my past, I find it challenging to be as careful as I should be with my commitments. I find that if there is difficulty getting an order done in time for the “ship date”, it’s important to give the customer a call, to see what can be worked out. Maybe you can only ship part of the order, maybe just the pieces they really need. It used to be very frustrating for me to do that. My point here is, that it’s not wrong to realize your limitations, and to make your commitments accordingly. Be practical with how much you put in the schedule, so you can keep your word, and complete your obligations.
Jesus said in Matthew 5:33-37 Again ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
We have numerous examples in the Bible that we can learn from. May the Lord help us to be like Samuel of whom we read, And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground” -1 Samuel 3:19. To me this means that even when Samuel was a youth, he spoke in a sincere, truthful, Godly way, so that his words were profitable and beneficial to those who heard him. The psalmist David writes in Psalm 19:14, Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Then in Luke 2:46, 47, we find young, 12-year-old Jesus …in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. Jesus himself didn’t just listen, but also asked questions.
Now by encouraging youth to be quick to hear and slow to speak, I am not saying that it is out of place for youth to talk, ask questions, share their ideas, have something to say, or enjoy a heartfelt conversation with those older than they. In fact, it is very beneficial and necessary to learn to communicate, to ask questions, and to be honest with their parents and older brothers and sisters in the Lord. Hopefully by now you are realizing the value and importance of developing and cultivating the heart of a learner in your youth and how this goes along with the spirit of being “swift to hear and slow to speak.”
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