Nearly 43 years ago, on a warm August afternoon, two 19-year-olds (a young woman and her fiancé) excitedly came out of her parents’ home and walked slowly down a small hill toward a group of 200 waiting people. Her father, a minister, awaited them at the front of the aisle. Flushed with excitement they stood before him and listened to the short message he had prepared concerning marriage. Their hearts beating with anticipation they joyfully answered, “I do,” making a covenant with each other and with God.
They both understood what it meant to remain faithful “through sickness and health, poverty and wealth, for better or worse, till death do us part.” Generations before had shown them that it was possible. Parents and siblings had shown them. Uncles and aunts had shown them. This was going to be bliss into life’s sunset…
Or so they thought.
It never entered their minds that great trials would test the very core of their belief and commitment. They went through hard financial times. (The balance in the checkbook was less than the bills that were due.) They went through times of life-changing decisions. (He wanted to quit his job working for his father-in-law building cabinets, receiving a regular paycheck, and begin farming with his father, which didn’t guarantee any income each week, let alone each year. She wasn’t so sure.) They had four children by this time and knew the challenge of crying babies and sleepless nights, which left everyone exhausted. They knew the differences that came up from time to time in church meetings that left them wondering which way they should think. (One brother thought one way and another thought differently, yet this couple respected both brothers.) Twelve years of experiences were behind them, still married life was blissful and happy. Life’s sun was shining brightly!
Then it happened…
The clouds began to roll in thick, angry waves! Eight years of misery and dysfunction were ahead. The devil was hard at work to destroy the unity and joy of these two whose marriage was going so beautifully. He allowed his heart and eyes to look at the allurements of the world and the deception of Satan. Her strong opinions and domineering attitude only added to the problem. Sparing the details, they lost the bliss they once enjoyed. It was a miserable existence for both of them. He was neither repentant nor asking forgiveness, but she continually forgave and pointed the children (five by now) to “we hate the sin, but we love our daddy.” After many years of broken oneness, her commitment to “whither thou goest, I will go” began a miracle. God’s grace was sufficient.
Why are they so happy now?
First, it must be said, it was the power of God working in both of their lives. God didn’t give up on them. He said He wouldn’t; and He didn’t. They were tempted but they didn’t go where Satan wanted them to go. They both have experienced the power of the Holy Spirit to bring them to depths of spiritual communion that they never knew before. It took many heart-wrenching prayers for strength and forgiveness. It took many deep, heartfelt tears of repentance and close accountability to each other. Many and much!
Secondly, as they look back to that time in their lives, there were four principles of God’s Word that were engrained so deeply into their minds that they couldn’t deny them:
- A covenant with God is powerful and cannot be broken.
- Unconditional love for another person is powerful.
- Real and ongoing personal repentance is powerful.
- Living a life (moment by moment) of forgiveness is powerful.
When those four God-ordained choices enter a war between the will of God and the wiles of the enemy, the enemy is powerless.
A covenant with God is undeniably unbreakable. When “the books are opened” the covenant will not have changed.
Unconditional love means loving even when it’s not so easy. Fires have a tendency to go out when they have cold water thrown on them. It requires a lot of staying really close to Jesus! Ann’s prayer and plea to God was “Lord, please draw Mark back to You by the power of Your Holy Spirit.”
God answered.
When I, Mark, realized what I was losing, both in eternity and in this life with my family, and the depth and sinfulness of my sin, I trembled before God. He brought me to repentance. God began a healing that was exceeding and abundantly above all that Ann and I had ever thought or asked. My deep, heart-wrenching, grief-stricken repentance was real and obvious to her and the family. I took 100% of the blame. Everyone knows “there are always two sides to the story,” yet as the one who had committed the sin, I took full responsibility for my sin and the chaos that was brought into the marriage. I never blamed her for my sin. Humility is not difficult when it is heartfelt and Holy Spirit-guided!
My, Ann’s response to Mark’s repentance was full and free forgiveness. His ongoing expression of repentance and the fact that he took all the blame was powerful in rebuilding trust. It was clear that God was blessing our marriage again! The sun was shining through clouds that were rapidly receding!
Today, 23 years later, photos of that season in our lives or some reminiscent moment is apt to wash up fresh tears of grief and repentance for the pain and wasted years. Ongoing repentance and ready forgiveness have proven beautiful in building trust and a relationship that is sweeter and stronger than ever before! God truly has fulfilled His promise to …restore to [us] the years that the locust hath eaten! (Joel 2:25a) Praise the Lord!
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