Looking back at the years before my conversion isn’t easy. I was the youngest of six children. My parents were members of the Apostolic Christian Church in Latty, Ohio. We grew up hearing the Bible and going to church regularly, but something went wrong. I was a young boy when people realized I had an anger problem. I remember visiting a psychiatrist who started me on medication. “Take one of these pills each day and things should stabilize,” I was told.
As soon as I hit my teens I began going down the road of drugs and alcohol. I was always looking for my next high, living life to the fullest and as close to the edge as one could get. With this type of living I found myself in jail many nights. There I would reflect on my life, and I hated it. People would say I had a lot going for me, but I would always find a way to mess it up. Football was a good example. Even though things were going well, I had too many run-ins with the law, which ended my career. My daughter was another example; after many court cases, full custody was granted to her mother. After high school, I joined the Marine Corps. I, along with many others, thought this decision would straighten me out. However, after two years of service I was sent to prison on drug charges; then upon release, I was discharged from the military.
There were times that I would think about God and about Christianity, but I always seemed to remember the hypocrites that were in the church. I always tried to be real and I did not like hypocrites.
I had found a good job and made enough money to support my life style. Then one night, after another regular fight with my girlfriend, I decided I had had enough, so I grabbed a bottle of pills. I later read that as few as thirteen of these pills could kill a person, and yet I had taken the whole bottle, nearly one hundred pills. I awoke the next morning as if nothing had happened.
One night not too many days later I was out on the town and was arrested for driving under the influence. It was the eighth time I had been arrested on that same charge, but that night in jail something happened that changed my life forever. After many severe car accidents, drunken fights, jail terms, near death experiences and suicide attempts, the living God opened my eyes. Three weeks later, I was a converted man. In that jail cell I had told God if he could change me, change who I was, and take away all the sin that bound me so tight – if He could do all that – I would serve Him forever. I told God I would say what He wanted me to say, go where He wanted me to go, do whatever He wanted me to do. And He saved me; all things became new. I never drank again. I never did drugs again. I never smoked again. It was a miracle. Little did I know that my twin brother was getting converted at the same time, but that’s another story.
I knew God had a plan, and I wanted to be a faithful servant. I wanted to be a part of it. With some godly counsel from our oldest brother, we set out to seek the will of God in our lives. We started going to a Protestant community church, which is where I met my wife, Julia. Later, after some clear biblical disagreements, we left that church and started attending a small church closer to home, which we didn’t realize at the time was a Pentecostal church. There we met some Godly people, but again we didn’t see eye-to-eye on some major issues. After this we spent two and a half years home-churching with four other families.
During this time, we focused on witnessing to the lost, wherever we were. Many times, we were rejected. I lost all my friends which didn’t bother me, but the fact that they were headed for an eternity in hell, certainly did. I didn’t know much, but I did know that I had the answer. I had what everyone needed! I made many mistakes those first four years, and I regret them now, but I see how the Lord is still using them to make me a stronger Christian and a more broken man today.
In 2015, my wife and I (having two young children) became members of the Allen County Christian Fellowship in New Haven, Indiana. Later that same year I was asked by some brothers to go to Haiti for four days to do some preaching, to which I gladly consented. After getting my passport, I was leaving the country for the first time in my life. When I returned home I was very thankful to be back, and yet I was shocked at everything I had seen. I remember standing out back with my two-year-old son thinking about the rest of my life. I felt God calling, but “no, surely not,” I did not want to go to the mission field. I went inside the house and told my wife, “I think God might be calling us to the mission field.” I was not sure what to think. We decided to spend some time praying about it. Within that week I was asked by two different churches if I would consider moving overseas. I could hardly believe it. After more prayer I told my wife that if we were going to become missionaries, our church would need to be the church to send us. That Sunday I was asked by one of our elders if we would consider moving to Haiti to preach the gospel. I said yes.
We have now been living in Haiti for more than two years. I spent most of those first two years travelling from church to church preaching a message that has been all but forgotten, a message that is only spoken about, but not frequently lived. After spending time with more than one hundred churches, I believe there is a great need for our Anabaptist missions to get back to the Bible, to stop lowering the standards, and to show the life-changing power of the True and Living God (-see Acts 17:22-31). True, there are great physical needs, but there are even greater spiritual needs.
When you think of missions, what comes to mind? I believe we probably see it somewhat differently today than the early believers did. Most people, when asked what they think about missions, respond by saying, “Helping the poor,” “Feeding the hungry,” or “Building homes.” Most people talk about a building project or a trip to “explore” a different country, take some pictures, and try to help some poor people. You hardly ever hear anyone say anything about the Gospel; few people seem concerned with the souls of man. I am not trying to say that we should not be concerned with the physical needs of the poor. I am trying to say that we should first be concerned with their souls. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? -Matthew 16:26.
I realize this topic could seem confrontational, yet I don’t wish to offend anyone. I simply have a burden that we make sure our focus on missions is right. First, I believe we must realize that few countries are like America. Most countries are what we would call “living in poverty”. But, is it really poverty? Or is it just different than what we have known our whole life – a life of luxury and prosperity, where everything we need or want is at our fingertips. Let me give you an example. There are parts of the world, especially in Africa, where there are groups, or tribes, of natives. These people have little or no morals. Many are hungry and some even cannibalize each other. They kill each other, worship evil spirits, and have many wives. They live differently than we do. They live in small huts, have no power source, no food stores, and no modern clothing. They are very poor. I have read about missionaries traveling into these villages, and they are going for one reason only – the Gospel. I have never read about groups going there for the sole purpose to build new homes or take food or clothing. I also have never read about a youth group going to a village like that and snapping pictures and having an ‘awesome’ time. I believe people have built homes possibly, and gave them food, but it was just to open a door for the gospel.
So, what am I saying? Simply that I believe we should rethink missions and put the Gospel of our Lord Jesus first. I read somewhere that there are over 12,000 missions here in Haiti, and yet this country is still very far from God. People are killing one another in public, for money. Greed is rampant, and I believe it’s because they are getting a taste of something they will most likely never have – an American life. So why are there so many missions with so few results? Could it be that some of these missions are not focused on sharing the Gospel at their poverty level? Perhaps they are sharing an Americanized Jesus. Or maybe in their efforts to try to “help” the perceived needs of the people, they are actually presenting another form of the “health, wealth, and prosperity gospel,” one that is simply just further down the ladder of prosperity. Or worse yet, maybe they are simply promoting another Jesus, one that does not care how you live, only that you live prosperously. A Jesus that does not care about our sin, but rather that we have a good life, here, and now.
When I see a lost soul, I think one thing – “This person needs Jesus!” If he dies in this state, he will be lost forever! Maybe it’s because I have seen so many die without Jesus, die fighting to have the American dream. Just yesterday, I saw a man die. A man, who, many times, I had tried to tell about Jesus or to give a gospel tract. He was shot three times in the back. As he was taken away, I couldn’t help but think, “If only you would have repented and taken the road less traveled.” Who cares what his house looked like, or who cares how much money he had?
Now I’m guessing that there are people who will say, “Barry, maybe if you would have given him some physical things he would have softened to the gospel!” To that I would say that we need to be led by God’s Spirit in these things. There are thousands of people here in Haiti ‘giving’ all kinds of stuff, yet people here are harder to the Gospel than ever. Because there are so many people giving generously, that is all the people want. People come to our house daily asking for money, food, clothes, radios, smart phones – you name it. However, I have yet to see someone come wanting to be discipled.
Maybe what we think is “true help,” really isn’t. Let me give you an example. Picture with me a small village, made up of mostly family members. Two brothers go out and work in the fields each day, and they are excellent with the pick and hoe. They get paid about four dollars per day and they are content. They love their families; they enjoy going to church together and living together. One day an American observes the men working in the fields and admires their work ethic. After the work day he approaches one of the brothers and talks with him. He grows to love and admire the man and asks him if he would take him to see his home. The American can’t believe that he lives in such a poor place with his wife and children. He nearly loses it when he hears that he only makes four dollars a day. So out of the goodness of the American’s heart he calls a few friends back home and they get enough money around to build a nice new home for him. Then they begin sending clothes and other modern things to him. Since he could not support his family properly on four dollars a day, the American sends down some money for him each month. Soon this Haitian’s brother notices that he isn’t interested in going to work in the fields with him anymore and questions him. The other responds, “why would I go work hard, for a little bit of money?” The two brothers that used to love each other so much, soon have little in common; the one is wearing stylish clothing and is usually playing with his smart phone. He doesn’t seem to have time for his family anymore, since he has many friends now. He also doesn’t see the need for church anymore. Jealousy soon rises between the families and often this story ends in murder. Meanwhile, there is an American living back in the States in complete luxury, with a photo on his refrigerator of a Haitian family that he tells everyone he is ‘supporting’.
I know that Christians are supposed to give and help the poor, but are we really helping them? Please don’t take me wrong – there are times to build homes, or to send money and food. A good example is after a tragedy or natural disaster, it is a perfect time to show the love of Jesus, to help people who have just lost everything they have. But when the storm settles do we just go home? Or do we prepare them for the next storm or the next trial in their lives? I know of one mission here in Haiti that does some rebuilding of homes and feeding the poor, but they do their homework on who needs the help and strive to be governed by God’s Word.
One day while in Port Au Prince on errands, I ran into a missionary who had been in Haiti for nearly 30 years. As we began sharing, I couldn’t help but notice a Haitian man standing nearby waiting on the American. He did not look like your average Haitian; he looked rich, he had fashionable clothing on, and gold anywhere he could put it. The Haitian also had tattoos all over his body, head to foot. I finally asked who the Haitian man was. With a big smile the American responded, “The first time I came to Haiti, almost 30 years ago, a small boy followed me around tugging on my pants. Barry, this is that small boy. He has been with me ever since.” Many thoughts went through my mind, but I had to think, “Yes, this missionary has helped this Haitian overcome hunger, poverty, and a bad life. Also, he has probably helped him through school, helped him get an American visa, and helped him build a nice house. BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS SOUL??!” As Americans I believe we feel guilty living the way we do, so we try to bring the poor up to our level, and that is what missions has seemed to become. What about those of us who call ourselves Anabaptists? Are we following in those same footprints? God help us!
My objective here is not to pick apart other missions. My burden is that we need to send anointed men with a burden and a fear of God into the mission field. Then, and only then, will we start to see some results, people turning back to God. I believe we need to send preachers, evangelists, and teachers, not just nurses, well drillers, masons, and carpenters.
After living here in Haiti for a few years, I have seen many terrifying things, things that make my heart sink. But what saddens me the most is when I see what many churches from America are doing to this country – promoting all its their liberal ideas and turning Christianity into a big party. After all, who doesn’t want to go on a mission trip when it involves warm weather, a beach, and a chance to hang out with some people who think you’re a super hero? Who doesn’t like to make someone else happy? I believe that if we first sought out the heart of God before going to another country, we would be able to look past their poverty and see what they really need – a relationship with the King of Kings, who has promised to take care of His own. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. -Matthew 6:33
Please pray for us as we try to raise the standard of Christ in a lost world.
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